8 Things Your Officiant Wished You Knew

The officiant is the one who will make your marriage official. There are many different types of officiants, but it's important to know what they do before you choose one. Here, we asked ceremony gurus (of all walks of life and faiths) for the details you should know before you say "I do."

1. You will have the most intimate, revealing conversations of your life. "I've been an officiant for many years and have had several wonderful couples I've had the great pleasure of marrying. In almost every one of those ceremonies, after meeting with them to talk about what they hope their wedding day represents, who they are as a couple, and what kind of ceremony they'd like, I've had the chance to get to know them really well. In fact, at this point in my life, I consider many of them friends. And usually after getting to know me as well as they do during that first meeting for coffee or tea or whatever it may be, couples will share things with me that they've never shared with anyone. It's a wonderful, sacred trust and I'm grateful for their trust in me." —Sharon "Bear" Greer, Justice of the Peace

2. There will be time to write your own wedding ceremony. "I believe that couples should do what feels right for them — whether that means writing their own ceremony or using someone else's. If you are feeling called to write your own vows, I'd love to help you workshop them. It's too beautiful of a moment not to be completely heartfelt." —Leslie Nuccio, owner of Your Lovely Day

3. You can change your officiant if you don't love them. "One of my favorite things about being an officiant is that there are no rules! Couples can, and sometimes do, end up working with multiple people throughout the process to find the right fit. For example, couples might meet with several different potential photographers before they find one whose style resonates with them. And an officiant works in much the same way." —Maria Baker, owner of Maria Baker Photography

4. There are different types of ceremonies to choose from. "There's not just one 'right' kind of ceremony. Nowadays, couples can opt for incredibly personal or traditional weddings—they really can have it all! And having worked with so many couples, I appreciate the variety and creativity that's out there. But it's important to note, though, that unless your officiant is a friend or family member who won't charge you (in which case they might not be able to legally marry you), you will usually pay them for their service." —Wendy Mead, Celebrant

5. Your officiant really wants you to be happy on your big day. "I'm a wedding officiant because I want to give people the ability to have the wedding they've always wanted, no matter what that looks like or who they are as a couple. The couples who come to me are often at a point where they really can have it all — they have a vision, and the funds to make it happen. I really want them to feel supported in finding what will work for them." —Natalie Franke, Wedding Minister

6. They want to get to know you, too! "It's not just about the vows - your officiant also wants to get to know you! I try to find out what makes them tick so that when it comes time for their special day, I can be an ear when it counts or give advice if they need it." —Logan Cartwright, Officiant

7. They should support the way you want to celebrate your love. "Remember, you're hiring a wedding officiant to help you celebrate your marriage! So while they may have an opinion about what kind of ceremony should be included or excluded from your big day, ultimately it should be up to you." —Amanda King, Professional Wedding Officiant

8. You should love their energy and vibe! "I tell my couples to be open-minded about the person standing in front of them. The officiant may change between the rehearsal ceremony and the wedding day, but you still want to feel comfortable with this person because he or she will be marrying you." —Jenifer Brimmer, Officiant