Wedding Etiquette: Essential Dos and Don'ts for Guests

Weddings are especially joyous occasions – they  bring people together to celebrate love and union. To assure that everyone has a smooth and enjoyable experience, it's important for guests to be familiar with and adhere to appropriate wedding etiquette. This article will guide you through wedding etiquette, outlining what you should and should not do as a guest. Whether attending the wedding of a friend or family member, you can rely on these guidelines to help you handle social nuances and expectations. 

1. RSVP: Respond Promptly

It is important to RSVP promptly after receiving a wedding invitation. Responding promptly allows the couple to make necessary arrangements for seating, catering, and other logistics. Whether you can attend or not, a timely response demonstrates your consideration and helps the couple plan their special day effectively. They appreciate it, and will remember you for it. 

2. Dress Code: Dress Appropriately

Follow the specified dress code mentioned in the invitation.It may range from black tie to casual, and it's important to respect the couple's wishes. Dressing appropriately shows your respect for the occasion and shows your understanding of the significance of the event. If you're unsure, feel free to contact the couple or consult with the wedding planner for assistance. On the other hand, you won't be faulted if you overdress somewhat.  NEVER underdress - GUYS – think twice about those sneakers! 

3. Punctuality: Arrive on Time

Arriving on time is a fundamental part of wedding etiquette. Plan your journey in advance to account for traffic and other unforeseen delays. Being punctual shows your respect for  everyone’s time, and ensures you don't disrupt the proceedings. If you anticipate being unavoidably late, let the couple or a designated contact person know.  Best practice – be comfortably early.  If you expect traffic or a long trip on public transport, plan to be ½ hour early.  “Early is on-time.”  – Cantor Daniel Pincus

4. Gift Giving: Choose With Heart

When selecting a wedding gift, think about what the couple likes, and needs.  Consider their registry or opt for a meaningful and personalized gift. Of course, be mindful of your budget; no need to buy what you really can’t afford. And, choose a gift that aligns with your relationship with the couple. If you're unsure about what to give, gifts of money or store credit are also appreciated. 

5. Mobile Etiquette: Be Present

During the wedding ceremony and reception, it's important to be fully present and engaged. Avoid excessive use of mobile devices, as they can be distract the officiant and the couple, and take something away from the ceremony experience. So, silence your phone or switch it to airplane mode.  You can go ½ hour without knowing that X, Y, or Z has something NOT earth-shattering to tell you. LOL. Capture special moments with the camera sparingly. 

Be there fully: experience the celebration mindfully, in the moment, with your own eyes and ears. If the couple has a professional photographer or videographer, they will be sure to share all images with the entire group. 

6. Ceremony Conduct: Be Respectful

Wedding ceremonies hold deep emotional value for the couple and their families. Show respect by avoiding whispering (VERY annoying to others).  Follow all specific instructions provided by the officiant or wedding planner. Of course, there will be a time to express your pleasure and enthusiasm – at the end, usually. 

7. Photography and Videography: Respect Boundaries

As touched on above, while it's natural to want to capture memories through photographs and videos, it's crucial to respect the couple's wishes regarding photos and videos.  Some couples may have specific guidelines, such as an unplugged ceremony or a designated professional photographer. *******Make sure to get permission from the couple before taking their pictures or sharing them on social media.*******

8. Seating Arrangements: Follow Instructions

Respect the seating arrangements decided on by the couple or the wedding planner. They take a long time to plan this carefully, to ensure a harmonious atmosphere and avoid any potential conflicts. If you have any concerns or special requirements, reach out to the couple or the designated contact person in advance. 

9. Alcohol Consumption: Drink Responsibly

If alcohol is served, exercise moderation and drink responsibly. You might have seen it – some drink heavily and then act poorly, and everyone notices.  Bad!  Pace yourself at the bar beforehand. Wine might be served later, and you may need to drive home..

10. Socializing: Engage with Others

Weddings provide an excellent opportunity to socialize and make connections. Engage in conversations, be inclusive, and make an effort to meet new people.  Avoid dominating conversations or engaging in controversial topics. Instead, do your part to create a positive and enjoyable atmosphere. Listen well. Be the kind of person others like to be around. 

11. Speeches and Toasts: Keep it Thoughtful

If the couple invites you to deliver a speech or a toast, prepare in advance and keep it thoughtful, and on the brief side. Share heartfelt anecdotes and express your genuine feelings while keeping the tone pleasant and positive. Rehearse! Days before delivering it, practice it out loud, reading it off the page. Do that several times, looking up occasionally to begin to memorize it. (Pro tip: everyone resents too many off-the-cuff anecdotes that soak up time and attention.) For more on great speech prep and delivery, read this brilliant and funny book. Hume’s humor can be a little “much,” but the methods are golden:  Speak Like Churchill Stand Like Lincoln

12. Dancing: Join the Celebration

When the dance floor opens, embrace the celebration and (try to) join in the dancing. Respect any cultural or traditional dances that may take place and follow the lead of the couple or the designated dancers. Encourage others to participate and create a loving and fun atmosphere.  Remember, it's not about your dancing skills but the spirit of celebration that matters.

To make the wedding celebration unforgettable (and peaceful), it's important to adhere to these rules of wedding etiquette. They will help you honor the couple's love, relationship, and happiness. Respect the couple's wishes, be present for them, and engage with others in a positive and respectful manner. Your thoughtful actions will leave a lasting impression and ensure a truly joyous occasion for everyone involved.

Looking for a 5-Star Google wedding officiant?  Look into Cantor Daniel Pincus at www.cantordanielpincus.com.