How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows

There’s perhaps nothing sweeter than writing your own wedding vows. However, it can also be a little intimidating if you aren’t used to the idea of pouring your heart out on paper and then sharing it with, not only your partner, but everyone in attendance. If you’re feeling the pressure, but still really want to write your own vows for a truly memorable day, here are some suggestions to help you out.

Start early: The last thing you want to do is add pressure by leaving such a significant task to the last minute. Start early and give yourself plenty of time to create wedding vows that are rich, heartfelt, and designed with care. Stressing about it because you're running out of time won't help as panic does not make you work better, especially on something this important.

Practice, practice, practice: Yes, really. You’ll want to practice saying your vows out loud before the day-of, because what looks good on paper may not read well, as far as the actual phrasing or word flow. Have someone you trust listen to your recite your vows and coach you, if needed, on the phrasing and clarity of your wording. It will help you speak them more confidently, too!

Focus on your partner and ignore the people watching: This is definitely is easier said than done. After all, your family, friends, and other guests will be there with all eyes on you. But, when you are crafting what you want to say, ignore anyone and everyone except your partner -- to a point. Focus your words and promises on them, but don’t go too far as if you’re having a private conversation, either. Vows that are cryptic or stuffed full of private jokes may be confusing to your guests or could even end up being embarrassing down the road.

Ask your wedding officiant for tips: Your wedding officiant may be able to offer phrasing as well as starting and ending points. You’ll also want to ask if they’d be willing to step in and read your vows in the very common instance that both you and your partner get too emotional to say them. 

Enjoy yourself: Sure, there will be some nerves and pressure, but remember to enjoy yourself, too! Your wedding is a happy occasion, and if you aren’t enjoying your vows, then you’re doing it wrong. Take a breath and relax to ensure it's a positive part of your wedding.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself
The bottom line is that no one -- including your beloved -- expects you to put everything into your vows. It’s an impossible task, after all, and that’s okay! Just remember that the vows should be thoughtful, sincere, and focused on your commitment and connection to your partner. If your vows have managed to do that in 200 words, then you don’t need to do more than that. There’s no wrong way to do it, after all.

Writing your own wedding vows is a great way to add a true personal touch to your wedding, and create beautiful memories for you, your partner, your friends and family, and even your marriage officiant! While it seems intimidating at first, these tips will help make it that much easier!