How to Choose a Wedding Officiant

There’s so much focus on the dress, the venue, and the color scheme when it comes to planning a wedding. And, all of those things are important, of course! But, one often overlooked detail when it comes to the special day is the person who performs it: the wedding officiant! Whether you go with a religious leader, someone outside of a house of worship, or someone you know personally, the marriage officiant is a critical detail to think about well in advance.

How to choose a wedding officiant
It should go without saying, but making sure that you have a ceremony officiant who sees your relationship with the same perspective as you is crucial. If it’s a faith-based ceremony, this officiant should be accepting of each of your faiths. If you are looking at having a personal friend or loved one officiate, make sure that they’re onboard with what you want. Here are some details to keep in mind during your search:

Get the finances and formalities out of the way upfront:

As with any of the “nitty gritty” details, you’ll want to ask questions upfront about payment and formalities such as support with obtaining the marriage license, etc. Since these are the details that often get forgotten until the end and could leave you hanging, it’s best to know what they are as soon as possible so that you can continue your search, if needed.

Ask them questions about their past experience (if applicable):

If you are hiring an official wedding officiant (rather than a friend or loved one), you’ll want to ask them questions about their past experience. Don’t be shy -- they’ll be ready with past recordings and other details that they can use to help you see that they do, in fact, know what they’re doing.

Get on the same page about pre-wedding sessions:

Some officiants have only one meeting before the wedding. Others have several in order to get to know the couple and work extensively at personalizing the service. Depending on your preferences and approach, this is something to think about seriously so that you are getting the right connection and collaboration, if needed.

Trust your gut:

There’s a reason why people tell you to trust your gut! It’s because you're often aware of things before you think you are. Since weddings are happy and exciting times, it’s not unusual to miss “warning” signs that you have the wrong officiant until it’s too late. When meeting and interviewing your choices, trust a gut instinct one way or the other. Even if it’s for no reason right now, that reason will eventually become apparent.

While it’s certainly not as talked-about as the dress or the venue, the choice of your officiant is could make or break your day. Put time and thought into this decision so that you can have a ceremony that feels personalized, sentimental, and supportive. After all, if the person who is marrying you isn’t all of those things, how can anyone else be? You deserve the right connection with this critical person to your ceremony.